Insomnia Sucks

First of all, let me explain the reason it has been so long since I last posted. About 10 days ago we had a power surge at our house and the result was a fried modem. (Would baked or grilled have been any better?) And though Richard quickly purchased a new one, installing it seemed to cause more problems than it solved. I freely admit that I am not computer savvy like my husband so I will not attempt to explain just what happened. Just know that I now have a fully-functioning modem and that I am glad to be back online to share with all of you my good, bad, and ugly. I love sharing the good, but who doesn't occasionally need to verbally vomit the bad?

Now on to the reason I titled my post the way I did. It is currently 3:40a.m. and I am typing a blog. Insomnia sucks! It has been a huge problem during my current pregnancy and I can't wait for it to be over! Although I do have the option of popping an Ambien here and there, I am not allowed to take it every night. Last night was not one of those nights. So, exhausted as I was last night, it was about 10:45p.m. when I was finally able to fall asleep. I woke for the first time at 11:14p.m. Whew! What a nap! Aren't you jealous?

While I have never been one to crawl into bed at night and be asleep by the time my head hits the pillow like Richard can, I have had my share of blissful nights. But not since I got pregnant eight months ago. Insomnia sucks! I am convinced that I will sleep better once Aubrielle is born. Oh, sure, as a mom of four children who have breastfed through the night, I know that Bree (that's what Richard and the kids have been calling her lately, and I think it's so cute) will likewise have me up multiple times during the night. But once she goes back to sleep, I'll be able to as well--and on my tummy, no less. And heck, if she falls asleep at my breast while I'm sitting up nursing her, I'll just take advantage of the opportunity to sleep, too. Whenever, wherever. That will be my new motto.

Given that Bree will be born via C-Section, I'll understandably have a difficult time getting up and out of bed at night to nurse and change her. Thank goodness I have a loving husband who, though he will have to go to work the next day, will get up during the night with Bree and me to help in any way he can. Each time I have had one of the kids, he has been the one to go to the nursery to change the baby's diaper and bring him or her to me in the bed to nurse. And yes, as soon as the baby leaves his arms, he is asleep again. But once the baby is done nursing, I nudge him awake and he takes the baby back to the nursery. Oh, yeah. I am blessed. But I know one of the reasons he is so willing to make this sacrifice is because he is confident that he'll go right back to sleep.

Ahh, sleep. I think of you. I dream of you. But after waking multiple times during the night like I have last night / this morning, I also dream of an excellent surf 'n' turf dinner. I'm starving! Yeah, baby. The perfect steak (turf), lobster, shrimp or any seafood, really (surf), baked potato, rolls, biscuits, cornbread or something of the sort (gotta have my carbs), Ceasar salad, fresh fruit, etc. Oh, and the meal would begin with the perfect bowl of hot soup or chowder. Yeah...that's what I'm talking about. If I could have the perfect meal, I wouldn't even want for dessert. I'd just have another roll. Or two. After Bree is born, it'll be nice to not be THAT hungry all the time, and to not have hunger be a reason I can't sleep. Don't get me wrong. I'll still maintain a healthy appetite, just as I always have. Dropping pregnancy weight is never fun, but that's a whole different story...

Richard's alarm just went off. Yes, he usually gets up around 4:15a.m. to shower and groom, then he wakes the boys and me about 5:00a.m. But since he is up now, and I am obviously still wide awake, I may as well begin my morning routine now. May heaven help me to get through another day, following another nearly sleepless night. And may I have the patience and compassion necessary to be a good--no, great--wife and mom today. Every day that is what I strive for. Sometimes I am successful, other times not.

25 days to go...

Love, Cara