Exhibit A: my Mary Kay rose lip liner lying on the edge of my bathtub. Clearly this is not where I store my make-up, and clearly this is not how I use it, either. Notice the rose-colored seam on the wainscoting next to my vanity. Though you cannot tell from the picture, my lip liner is now almost gone. Last week it was new. I've maybe used it three times. I asked around. "Nobody" did it.
Exhibit B: my jewelry box, my necklaces a knotted mess. I don't have much jewelry, and what I have I take care of. I NEVER spin my necklace carousel as the result is always a knotted mess of chains. Have you ever spent time untangling eight pendants? The last time I tried, I gave up a couple of hours later. When my mom came to visit in July, she spent a few hours finishing what I had started. My mom lives in California and only visits once a year. I don't have the patience to try again, and I don't want to wait until she visits again next year. Therefore, I am very careful with my chains. Again I asked around. "Nobody" did it.
Exhibit C: the hood of Richard's car. As you can see from the picture, there is a large scratch which was applied with pressure in a circular motion. Clearly the scratch is intentional. Since Richard and I just paid off his car a little over a year ago, I assure you that we do our best to care for it. That means not scratching the paint or inflicting any unnecessary wear or damage. Again I asked around. "Nobody" did it.
Exhibit D: my leather family room couch. I love my leather couches. They are so easy to clean and care for and classic--never going out of style. Apparently it's too much to expect for people not to hit my furniture while vacuuming or ram toys against it while playing. It's also apparently too much to expect for people to leave the damaged area alone and not cause it further damage (don't pick and peel at the damaged area and remove the wood finish!). Again I asked around. "Nobody" did it.
Exhibit E: my beloved piano. When we first moved into this house, I placed a glass jar of candy on top of it. One night Richard and I went on a date only to return to find that the candy jar had been broken and the top of the piano had been dinged and scratched. Again I asked around. "Nobody" did it.
Exhibit F: walls, corners, baseboards, door frames, etc. I acknowledge that accidents happen. But once they do, must they be picked and peeled until they become an eyesore? I don't think so! But again, "nobody" did it.
Exhibit G: the stainless steel appliances. Two days ago Richard spent a lot of time polishing all of the stainless steel appliances in the kitchen, a job neither he nor I enjoy. It takes a good amount of time and the polish is expensive so we don't do it everyday. Today my fridge looks like it never got cleaned and polished. Who is responsible for the ugly prints marring the once shiny surface? "Nobody" did it.
Exhibit H: the candy jar. Halloween candy was abundant two weeks ago. Funny, but I have to keep refilling this jar. Richard and I prefer chocolate and could give or take the "fruity candy" you see in this picture. So why is it that every few days the jar is nearly empty again? Richard and I don't waste our calories on the "fruity candy". Since it's the chocolate candy we can't resist, it's in a separate jar in a cupboard above the refrigerator, where I can't reach it without dragging a chair over to climb up. So who has been eating all of the "fruity candy"? "Nobody" has.
Exhibit I: my casual dining room table. As you can see, a small section of the finish is now missing. "Nobody" did it.
Exhibit J: my kitchen cabinets. "Nobody" did this, too.
Exhibit K: my dryer. Once upon a time my brand new dryer came with a large sticker offering important information such as the model and serial numbers. In the instance that said dryer needs to be repaired and parts have to be ordered, model and serial numbers are vital. As you can see, all that remains inside said dryer door is residue where a sticker once resided. Why is the sticker no longer there? "Nobody" did it.
Exhibit L: the lock on my master bedroom door. Growing up I was taught that when Mom and Dad lock a door, you should respect that locked door--not yank and pull at that locked door until it breaks. But the lock on my master bedroom door is broken, necessitating the acquisition and installation of Exhibit M below. "Nobody" broke this lock the final time, beyond repair.
Exhibit M: the solution to the now defunct Exhibit L. It only cost a few bucks and took Richard just a few minutes to install, but I nonetheless wish it hadn't been necessary. But "nobody" struck again.
Exhibit N: Mimi's lingerie chest. As a little girl I only dreamed of having bedroom furniture fit for a princess. Mimi has it. So why are there teeth marks on the drawer? Mimi owns the furniture, it is in her room, but "nobody" did it.
Exhibit O: Mimi's bedroom blinds. Yes, the blinds in Mimi's bedroom are covered in teeth marks. "Nobody" did that, too.
Exhibit P: the railing going up the main floor staircase. How on earth did chunks of the railing get taken out? All I know is "nobody" did it.
Exhibit Q: the hand towels in the boys' bathroom. That would be pen ink on the white towel. "Nobody" was responsible for it.
Exhibit R: the hole in the basement couch. I know who did it, and you do, too. "Nobody" did. No matter that Richard and I searched for more than a year for this couch and then spent the next 12 months paying it off. "Nobody" still did it.
Exhibit S: the entertainment center in the basement. No matter that this was once a piece of furniture Richard and I loved and proudly displayed in our family room. It has since been the victim of much abuse. Who is the abuser? "Nobody" is."Nobody" lives here; "nobody" visits often. Thank goodness each member of my family is more important than these things. Each member. Including "nobody". I still love "nobody". Each and every one of them.
Love, Cara
4 comments:
Maybe you don't need to have a 6th child after all, he/she is already a part of your family!
Growing up we had "casper the friendly ghost" who was blamed for all of the things no one would take responsibility for in our home. I laughed then. I laugh now. It's sad how children care so little for the things we work so hard to have. But one day, they will understand.
You do your best to teach your children to take responsiblity. You are right, your family members are more important than things, it would just be nice if they took care of the things too!
It's comforting to know that nobody lives at your house too!
I knew "nobody" growing up, but "nobody's" kind of a no-show for my only child! Poor Katelyn-she doesn't even try to blame "nobody", she just grins & I bare it!! HA! Funny post!
Nobody is sure busy at your house!
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