Wanted: A Cattle Prod

Someone get me a cattle prod so I can use it on my children! Seriously, must it take so long for them to perform their simple chores and personal hygiene routine? I'm just asking. And I'm thinking that a cattle prod would be an effective tool to a busy, multi-tasking mom like me, who must rely upon her children to not need constant reminders that time is slipping away and they best get the lead out of their behinds! Poke, poke! Get to work! Work now, play later! Timers aren't effective, neither are threats. Much to my chagrin, dangling rewards in front of their faces hasn't born fruit, either. What's an anal-retentive mom to do? (I like things done my way!)

Once Richard leaves for work each morning (about 5:30a.m.) I am on my own with four kids who must get ready for school and for the day. Meanwhile I have to take care of my own chores and personal grooming. Each morning while I shower, the old adage remains true: When the cat's away, the mice will play. Scratch that: it's true no matter what time it is in the morning or what I am doing. My kids are not stupid. Nope, in fact, they have figured out that our house offers many excellent hiding places. They have also figured out that Mom cannot be in two places at once. My kids also know for a fact that, given my current condition, I am not going to chase them through the house. Heck, lately I have a tendency to get winded just walking up a flight or two of stairs. And since I cannot see my feet, it is necessary for me to be extra cautious so as to not harm myself or my baby. A fall at this point in my pregnancy could be disastrous. My kids know this too, and thus are much quicker than I am.

Why can't my children remember to brush their teeth? Feed the dog? Put their dirty clothes in the hamper? Make their beds? Argh. Was I this helpless as a child? I must have been, and now I am paying for it. (Sorry, Mom and Dad! I get it!) Why is it that I must babysit my children every minute they are supposed to be doing their chores? And what's with the slow pace? It's reminiscent of molasses in January!

We are all up by 5:00a.m. and don't have to leave the house for school until 8:15a.m. each morning. Seems to me like enough time to get everything done, and be sure to leave the house with a full belly. At our house, the rule is that all chores and hair must done before you may sit at the kitchen table and partake of any food. Richard and I made this rule, foolishly thinking that hunger would be a powerful catalyst to get the work done and not waste time. Hah! At least half the time one or more of the kids runs out the door with a banana or a granola bar. Not ideal.

The question is, how do we solve this problem? I assure you, I have no idea. While I would like to figure it out before Aubrielle is born, I'm not counting on it. Once my baby is born I know that my mornings are going to be even crazier. The only way I'm going to get through that transition is with the help of my Heavenly Father, and I know I must ask for His help through prayer. I also know that prayer is the answer to all of my problems, concerns, frustrations, etc. Maybe I just need to be reminded from time to time.

I acknowledge that I am neither the first mom to experience parental angst, nor will I be the last. I also acknowledge that when my outlook is positive (ie: the glass is half-full) I am aware of how truly blessed I am to be the mother of four of the cutest kids ever. (Okay, so I am a little bit biased.) I also know that being a mom is simultaneously the most difficult and most rewarding job I will ever have in my life. (I could never have said that about my job at the tax and financial planning firm before I became a mom.)

I feel better now that I've vented a bit. I love my children--each and every one of them, challenges and all. Here's hoping I do my best by them, especially since that is what they deserve.

Love, Cara